Writing a column every week is hard. Not the writing so much. It’s the coming up with topics week after week that taxes the nooks and crannies of my cerebrum, cerebellum and Cocoa Wheats.

That’s why I keep a file of random thoughts and observations — to goose the gerbils in my brain to germinating ideas. Let’s take a gander at a few of these eggs.

• Maybe eating a doughnut wasn’t cheating on my diet. Maybe going on a diet was cheating on my doughnut.

• When I was a toddler, I didn’t care about things like what to wear. My parents dressed me. Looking back on some of my baby pictures, I’ve realized my parents didn’t always care that much, either.

“You were just going to spit up on it or poop in it, so why buy fancy stuff at all?”

• I have faced many dilemmas in my life. Lately, it’s more like dullemas — which I read somewhere is “the choice between two equally boring outcomes.”

• Is a hen that can count her eggs before they hatch a mathemachicken?

• A favorite meme: “Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance… The five stages of waking up.”

• Why is my best sleep always after I hit “snooze”? Should I reverse the whole process and just hit the snooze button when I go to bed? Would that much good sleep cut into my three daily naps at my desk at work?

• Memory is like an Etch-A-Sketch. Shake your head, and poof, it’s gone.

• A favorite quote: “My brain logged me out due to inactivity. Now I can’t remember my password.” — anonymous

• A thought once popped into my brain. Before I could think the thought, another notion wormed its way in. The two thoughts tussled until they both shriveled up and died from exhaustion. And that is why, ladies, when you ask, “What is he thinking?” the answer truly is, “Not a thing. Thinking wears me out.”

• A favorite quote: “Nobody is more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.” — Laura Marie Gordon

• In high school, I was excited to become a senior. We ruled the school. Now I have become a senior again. Somehow, getting my Medicare card doesn’t match the excitement.

• Is the reason we get heavier as we get older because there’s so much more information packed into our heads? Is that also why we fall more often, because we’ve become top-heavy?

• If a dog will bite you when you blow in its face, why does it stick its head out the car window at 60 mph?

• A favorite meme: “The awkward moment when you’re wearing Nikes and you can’t do it.”

• What if we trained mosquitos to suck fat instead of blood?

• People pay good money to go to the top of tall buildings, then pay more money to peer through binoculars to look at things on the ground where they just were before they emptied their wallets.

• A favorite meme: “Getting older is just one body part after another saying, “Ha, ha, you think that’s bad? Watch this!”

• A meme that doesn’t apply to me but is silly enough to include: “I sent that Ancestry site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a pack of seeds and suggested that I just start over.”

I shall ponder these imponderable thoughts for a good think, choose one, and write a column about it. But first, a nap. Well, maybe a doughnut first, then a nap. Somebody let the editor know that I’ll write a column soon. Got any Boston creams left?

Wake Cole at burton.w.cole@gmail.com or on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook. Have a doughnut ready in case he’s snarly.