Growing up I never understood the hoopla all the adults had about holidays.

What did everyone mean by they were tired of the cleaning, cooking and planning? We had big get-togethers. Why all the fuss and frustration during Thanksgiving and Christmas?

Now in my 30s, I get it.

No matter how many days in advance I start planning out the Thanksgiving Day menu or how early I wake up on the holiday, I feel like I don’t have everything together for the four guests, max, I plan to entertain.

Last year’s battery led me to the decision to become a permanent guest after the friends left, uncomfortably filled with all the food.

If you invite me, I’ll bring whatever dishes you want but please don’t ever ask me to host again.

It was all easy (and good) food the last several years, too, but I just didn’t care for it all.

Did I hand-wash the baseboards, clean my beloved couch, dust every fixture and piece of curated art on my walls, and make sure the bathroom was spotless? Yes.

Did I take it entirely too far and make sure my bedroom closet was tidy and organized, while making sure no dust bunnies were hopping around under the bed? Also yes.

It’s not that I’m bad at hosting. There’s always fun music, several kinds of beverages and finger foods. You want to watch a movie? Go ahead. That massive blanket looks cozy? Wrap up and snooze. A board game sounds fun? Take your pick from the inventory in the hall closet.

Holidays, in my opinion, should be easy and breezy so we can relax and enjoy everyone around us. Host(ess) included.

I can say somehow it felt easier in Montana, but the holidays were kept to us — my significant other and myself, and the neighbor couple — then that one incredible Christmas where our friend flew out and spent the holiday week. More on that next month.

Our first of two Thanksgivings out west, we feasted on mac and cheese, several steamed vegetables, several kinds of potatoes, stuffing and turkey, washing it all down with huckleberry beer.

That was also the same year I was introduced to Costco and their pumpkin pies.

My fella and I ate the entire pie before we were able to take it to our neighbors for dinner. Luckily I was able to whip up a couple of seasonal treats. Pie, cakes and cookies do not stand a chance with him. I’ve learned to keep baking basics on hand because it’s a regular thing that I make something for an event and he inhales it.

Some switch was flipped along the way, though, and hosting has taken on a more urgent or neurotic role that, to be frank, I don’t want.

I try to incorporate holiday elements on the dinner table,

As I type this, I’m realizing I might take on more than I can chew when it comes to hosting.

As much as I love the comfort of a traditional chunk of aromatic pumpkin pie, heaping mounds of mashed potatoes, stuffing and a big old turkey, I like reimagining the staples.

I don’t need an actual pumpkin pie. I need the flavors. And for guests to apparently move my fridge and stove to see how clean I got everything before they came over to spend a couple of hours eating and then go home.

Keeping this attitude in mind a few weeks ago, still sour for whatever reason about the holidays and we still don’t even have plans, I was looking through recipes from days of yore in the newsroom.

That’s when I saw it.

A pumpkin dessert from 1980, submitted by Warren resident Laurie Seem.

It was something I knew I had to share with those who are cool, calm and collected (and not stressed out like yours truly), and can healthily host a holiday.

I hope it brings you as much joy as knowing I’ll be sleeping in on Thanksgiving is giving me.

Share your favorite recipes and memories with Features Editor Ashley Fox at afox@tribtoday.com.

Pumpkin Dessert Ring

1 2/3 cups flour

1 1/3 cups sugar

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

3/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 ground cloves

1/3 cup soft shortening

1/3 cup water

1 egg

1/3 cup chopped nuts

2/3 cup raisins

1 cup canned pumpkin

Spice Sauce

1 cup water

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup butter

1/4 cup flour

1/4 teaspoon cloves

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

Dash of salt

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Mix flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon and ground cloves.

Add soft shortening, water, chopped nuts, raisins and canned pumpkin.

Beat at medium speed for 2 minutes or 300 strokes if mixing by hand.

Scrape bowl often and add 1 unbeaten egg. Beat 2 more minutes.

Pour into greased and floured bundt pan.

Bake 40 to 45 minutes.

For the spice sauce, mix all of the dry ingredients in a saucepan, then put on the stove.

Add 1 cup water gradually while stirring, cooking until thick.

Add 1/2 cup butter.

While still hot, pour on the pumpkin dessert ring and serve.