It’s really funny the things that a human can allow to annoy himself / herself.

Silly, insignificant things which, in the big scheme of life, are utterly inconsequential. Ridiculous stuff that doesn’t really matter, such as when kitchen cabinet drawers are left open or empty bags of chocolate pretzel thins are placed back in the pantry. (HINT: I wanted some of those, too!)

I think it goes without saying that the whole leaving up of the toilet seat is not just annoying, it’s downright dangerous. Am I right, ladies? Sheesh!

Why then, when there are so many seriously worrisome things going on in the world right now, do I find myself all too often “sweating the small stuff?”

Just as I was about to self-chastise, I happened upon an article titled: “50 Things You Do Every Day That Annoy Other People: The Worst Part? You Probably Don’t Even Realize You’re Doing Them.”

I was clearly intrigued and wondered if I am guilty of any, some or, horror of horrors, all 50? Gulp.

I started scanning the list.

・ People who talk so quietly that it’s hard to hear them.

Well, I definitely don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being too quiet. “Chatty Patty” is quite the talker. Verdict? Not guilty.

・ Leaving bread crumbs in the butter or remnants of jelly in the peanut butter.

Not gonna lie. Gives me the heebie jeebies.

・ Dogs that drool a lot.

Well, having had three foam-faced Boxers, I’d be lying if I said sometimes, it didn’t gross me out to get gobs of canine sputum in my eyes. Verdict? Guilty. But, just for the record, I adored them, anyway.

・ When frames on the wall are crooked.

OK, I guess I’m easily irked. Verdict? Guilty.

・ A TV left on with nobody in the room.

No, no, this doesn’t bug me at all — especially since both of the men I live with do this constantly. Grrrr. Seriously. I think you guys are doing it just to bug me.

・ Using all caps.

If you want to yell at me, please have the decency to come and do it in person. OK, PEOPLE?

・ People talking ad nauseam about how busy they are.

Gosh, you poor dear, I’m so sorry you have to work and cook and shop. The rest of humanity is pretty much just lounging by the pool sipping mai tais. Speaking of, could you pick us up some rum while you’re slaving away at the supermarket?

・ Putting something back on the wrong shelf at the grocery store.

Dude, is it really that hard to walk back the two aisles?

・ Talking at the movies.

Did you NOT hear the guy say, “Loud talking is not appreciated by your neighbors”? Shush, already!

・ Not holding the door for the person behind you.

This one really gets under my skin. Um, hello? It’s called common courtesy, capisce? I am especially incensed when I see someone letting a door close on a senior citizen.

Bottom line, these may not be felonies, or even misdemeanors. But I promise you this, if I see you letting a door slam in Grandma’s face, I am coming for you.

Not kidding.

Kimerer is a columnist who’s hoping COVID hasn’t killed common courtesy. Tell her your thoughts via pkimerer@zoom internet.net